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Beware of horses

I was walking down a narrow country lane and four massive horses came round the corner, filling the lane.   

‘Keep very still and you’ll be fine,’ the first rider said to me as she approached. ‘It’s not you it’s the rucksack, they hate them.’  

Since the lane was bordered by dry stone walls and the horse was almost upon me, I did exactly as I was told, not particularly wanting to be pounded by a frenzied hoof.  

The horse passed very close. It jerked and twitched and pulled a face exactly like this. 

Its eyeball rotated with menace. It sniffed and bumped me with its rib-cage, and there was a definite nibble on my (very still) ear.  

The following three horses were much the same.  

‘Stay still and you’ll be fine.’ 

As I walked off, glad to have survived, I heard laughter from the fun-loving equestrians and a mocking neigh.  

Horse humour, I love it. 

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