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Mountain Rescue called for drug-taking tourists

I read about those, I’m trying to think of a nice word but idiots is the only one I keep typing, who called Mountain Rescue because they were ‘incapacitated’ with cannabis on Scafell Pike. I couldn’t comprehend what they must have been thinking about, so I wrote this stupid post to make myself feel better.

I don’t know where they were from, but in my mind it was some posh guys from a posh place

Here’s what I imagine their Trip Advisor review of the Wasdale Mountain Rescue Team would look like.

Zebedee from Notting Hill – 5 Star Review
What a great service.

The Mountain Rescue were amazing the other week. A couple of friends and I decided we wanted to escape the confines of the city, yolo, and have an adventure. So we flagged down a hackney carriage.

‘Take me to the biggest hill in the land, good sir,’ was the brief.

God knows where we ended up, but when we got there, bit of a downer, no Starbucks. But we soldiered on and set off up the peak anyway.

My Ermenegildo Zegna Penny Loafers weren’t up to scratch, and god only knows why they haven’t cleared those boulders half way up, but we made it all the way to the top of England.

I know… heroes.

One problem, we were exhausted and a little bit dizzy. Luckily we had some Honey Boo Boo to calm us down.

Several hours later, none of us knew where the Harrods we were, and what counted as sunshine in these rarefied climes was almost gone.

Let’s split, I said to Titus and Oberon and whipped out the old iPhone XS Gold. There was a pitiful phone signal but I wasn’t sure whether the Executive Chauffeur Company I usually use would make it up here, so I googled a local service.

Admittedly we had to wait over 2 hours for them to pick us up, but I’m not going to knock a star off for that.

Thanks again Mountain Rescue, I’ll definitely use you again.

Those chaps did a great job.

This is completely ridiculous, I know, but at least I can cope now.

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